Wild
Horses Must Run Free
As
we gobbled our carnita’s burritos during our work’s lunch brake, Tiger confessed
to me that she was dating Mr. Meek again. I pretended to be surprised;
however, we have had that conversation before in more than one occasion. Their
on-and-off relationship was as much a sacrifice and a cross to both
participants, miserable together, lonely if apart.
I
love Tiger. She is a wild girl. She constantly reminds me of what I would have
been like if I had been born a girl. Miss Tiger and I have been friends for a
few years now and I admire her sense of style, her acceptance of her own
beauty and body, but more than anything else, I admired her sexuality and how
it sips into her everyday life.
Miss
Tiger has always been one of my favorite persons. She wears sequence pants
together with a pink feather boa to go to work. Some of her skirts are so
short that could be confused with a belt, and for a company that has no dress
code, she has managed to be sent home to change clothes.
Miss
Tiger’s sexual persona bursts and glows regardless of what she may wear.
Although the company we worked for was a hip Internet business and
rather over exposed to sex due to having many porn sites as our clients,
almost everyone that works there plays the role of a puritan virgin and wears
hypocritical masks to avoid stating the obvious, which is that everybody loves
sex.
Back
to the issue at hand, Miss Tiger had settled! The pressures of having a
biological clock, and the endless nights of dissection and analysis of the
self, had made Tiger think that maybe she was too wild and she needed Mr. Meek
to provide some sort of balance, a sort of self-expression brake.
Must we look for someone to push us further on the exploration
of self, or must we look for someone to work as a cure to self? A sort of
censure I dare to guess.
The
more that she talked about the perfect balance and continued to mention their
many large differences, the more it sounded to me that she was trying to talk
herself into it and asking for my support in it. Instinct told me that this
was one of those times, when you listen and keep your opinions to yourself.
As
we walked back to the office, I wonder if Tiger was trying to be someone she
wasn’t. That wild Tiger, was trying to be normal.
Is our need to mate
worth sacrificing the curiosity about ourselves and settling for a dull
normality?
I
think not!
That
night I did not get much sleep. I kept tossing and turning trying to figure
out Tiger’s situation and at the same time comparing it to mine. I am
thirty-seven years old and single.
I
have played the same game before. There was actually a time in my life, that I
thought it would be better to be with someone than alone, thus creating a hell
for my then partner and me.
Does love have no chance to survive any longer? Are we so
caught up with our ideal of what we want our mate to be, that we keep passing the
opportunity to develop something meaningful? Furthermore, is
Tiger right by wanting to hang on to something no matter how wrong it is? Am I
being too picky? So many questions!
So, as I laid
in bed, I started to take inventory of some of my latest flings;
Let’s see, there was Isaac. Isaac had a great big penis, he was
wild in bed and could be sweet once in a while. Isaac was also butt ugly,
didn’t know how to kiss and had the social skills of a cat during a
vaccination visit. Well, that one lasted almost two years. I thought that it would
work out fine since he was audience and I was entertainment.
Then there was Juan, the beautiful,
tall black man from
New Orleans
. Juan had a charming smile and
a killer body. Juan was successful in his career. Juan had a very small angry
penis. Juan would make plans and then cancel them when he was running three
hours late for our date, and even had the nerve to call me from the party he had
decided to stand me up for. Juan was also dating my neighbors. Juan wanted to
take me to church!Juan had a very small angry penis.
Juan wanted to take me
to a Catholic church! Imagine that! It would be like asking Hitler to go to
a Bar Mitzvah! Juan liked to watch me do things, perfect balance I
thought.
No need
to go any further. Every single one of these relationships I thought would
work because the guys were so different from me and they would be a good
balance for me. Maybe the reason I grew so impatient with Tiger is because I
had already tried finding someone to balance me off.
Now I
know that there is no need for someone to balance me in my life. I do not need
a cure, nor brake, nor counter balance. I am a wild horse running free, and I
need other wild horses to run free with, not people to tame me or hold me
back.
I
want love, passion and ultimate soul commitment. I tried to share my
experiences with Tiger, but knowing that she is so much like me, she needs to
come to the realization herself. You know what they say, you can lead the
tiger to water, but…oh, you know what I mean.
Recently, Tiger and I were able to spend some more time together,
and she told me that she and Mr. Meek had broken up. As I tried
to console her, deep inside of me my heart leaped with happiness. Now she is open
to finding that wild horse too.
It is hard for us wild beasts to find others like us. Most individuals we come across are
so used to living life dully. We want explorers, adventurers.
I want to go everywhere in the
world, I want to experience other cultures, other lands and other people. I
want to taste every dish there is on this planet! I want to climb mountains, I
want to swim with dolphins and save the whales. I want to explore and
discover, and I want someone to do it all with me. I want someone as hungry
for life as I am. I keep meeting people who have settle and want to experience
life through the TV and movies. I need no extra
to do my dangerous scenes.
Wild horses must run free. Want to run with
me?
